Dear head

Dear head,

Sometimes it gets so cold and lonely sitting below your crowning glory. You get to have a face with eyes and a nose and even ears. You get to eat and go to the hairdresser and decorate yourself with makeup. What do I get? Nothing!

That's why I have finally mustered up the courage to write and beg you for some decoration. Some fun. A life. I deserve it after all these years propping you up with no recognition.

This Kyoko scarf would be just the thing. It's pure wool and handmade and certainly not itchy like some of those nasty things you've wrapped around me in the past.

Anyway, have a think about it. No pressure.

Yours sincerely,

Cold and lonely neck