Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Memories of times past

Back in the 90s I wore Doc Martens with everything and had a disturbing penchant for flannelette shirts worn with $10.99 floor-length hippy skirts purchased from the Victoria Market. What I should have been wearing was this amazing floaty dress by Limedrop, which hits all the right notes of the Reality-Bites-pass-me-a-cigarette-and-play-The-Meanies-right-now! era without the hideously-unflattering-you-look-like-you-need-a-good-shower aspect.

Ah, if only I knew then what I know now...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dear head: part 2

Dear head,

It's me again. Sorry to bother you, but I have been having a bit of a dilemma since I last wrote. You see, I just stumbled across this amazing dove grey scarf and now can't decide which piece of Kyoko neck-wear would most flatter me.

Do you think you could purchase both? That way, on those days you decide to wear blue eye-shadow there will be no issues re. clashing colour combinations. You must know how sensitive I am to such things.

Once again, no pressure. I mean, I have been cold and lonely for so long, what's a few more weeks of frost bite and homeliness?


Cold and lonely neck

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Dear head

Dear head,

Sometimes it gets so cold and lonely sitting below your crowning glory. You get to have a face with eyes and a nose and even ears. You get to eat and go to the hairdresser and decorate yourself with makeup. What do I get? Nothing!

That's why I have finally mustered up the courage to write and beg you for some decoration. Some fun. A life. I deserve it after all these years propping you up with no recognition.

This Kyoko scarf would be just the thing. It's pure wool and handmade and certainly not itchy like some of those nasty things you've wrapped around me in the past.

Anyway, have a think about it. No pressure.

Yours sincerely,

Cold and lonely neck

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

After six pints will your power suit be enough to keep you standing?

You've got it right Trinny and Susannah. The ol' power suit aint always as almighty as she seems.

But this Dot and Herbey jacket? She delivers.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Limedrop tartan: On Paris and that bowtie

Skirt monthly: So plaid is really big this year?
Limedrop tartan: Please, I prefer tartan. It's more...
Skirt monthly: authentic?
Limedrop tartan: Yes. Exactly!
Skirt monthly: So, what is the best bit of beauty advice you've ever been given?
Limedrop tartan: Please please don't pair me with too much transparent, nipple bearing fabric.What was Paris Hilton thinking? Sorry Paris! You know I love you!
Skirt monthly: You and Bowtie seem so happy together. Relationships are so notoriously fickle in your industry. What's your secret?
Limedrop tartan: You know, I hope you don't make me seem bitchy. I love Paris, really I do. She's great.
Skirt monthly: You and Bowtie?
Limedrop tartan: Oh yes, him. Don't we look cute together?
Skirt monthly: You sure do. Would he be the one you'd whisk off to a desert island?
Limedrop tartan: Oh sure.
Skirt monthly: You're not convincing me.
Limedrop tartan: Ok, ok. I just have to say it. I love a great knit. Love it. Love to knit. Ha, ha, ha...Please don't print that.
Skirt monthly: Of course...

Monday, April 6, 2009

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

PCB and the three Hambs

Like most creative souls, Pussycat Black (PCB) had a tendency towards mischief. Always on the lookout for shiny new trinkets with which to adorn herself, PCB stumbled upon a lovely little label called Hamb.

'Hamb, Hamb!' PCB called out but nobody answered. As she was just about to leave Hamb-land (PCB was no snoop), a bone and mustard tartan wool skirt suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

'Ooooh, I just have to have that,' PCB exclaimed as the skirt fit snugly across her hips.

She knew she should leave right away. But once the compulsion kicks in...

'OMFG!' She said again. Infantile abbreviated-text-message-speak always signaled danger and PCB quickly smuggled an amazing charcoal wool skirt into her bag.

'I suppose I need a top now,' PCB muttered. So it must have been fate that caused a red and white stripe 3/4 tee to suddenly envelope her torso.

PCB quickly checked for security cameras before darting out the door. When she got home she called her sponsor. 'Rita, I've had a relapse,' she confessed. 'But it was sooo worth it!'